Hal Cruttenden with a beard and grey hair, dressed in a black suit and tie, smiling while adjusting his shirt cuff. The background is a neutral grey

Hal Cruttenden

Comedy Can Dish It Out but Can't Take It Fri 14 Nov 2025, 7:30pm The Haymarket

Meta

Tickets:

£24 (includes £4 booking fee)

Warning

Suitable for: ages 16 and over

Hal is back with a brand-new show that promises to stick it to 'The Man', as long as 'The Man' doesn't stick it back to him.

With his trademark hard-hitting 'take no prisoners' comedy (this is what Hal told me to write!!!), he will be hilariously pontificating on subjects like middle aged dating, social media, the insanity of modern politics, and the fact that his daughters love him but don't respect him. He believes that, after you've seen the show, you'll feel exactly the same way.

His last tour was extended four times, and he's one of a select number of comics to have done Live at the Apollo three times, and the Royal Variety twice. TV appearances also include Have I Got News for You, The Apprentice: You're Fired, The Great British Bake Off: An Extra Slice, and Would I Lie to You?.

Reviews

5 Stars

Go and see Hal Cruttenden, he's got something to say and he'll make you laugh; a lot
Daily Mirror

4 Stars

Reminded me of how much I love stand up
The Times

4 Stars

Naturally funny... challenging and provocative
Daily Telegraph

Dates and Times

You may also like